Killing the Light
by Crescent Matrix
Summary: ON HIATUS. She hated herself as much as she wanted to change. And suddenly, just on a day like any other, she snapped. Rated M for various reasons.
1. Maybe It Was Her Way

**Author's Note:** Well, another Naruto fanfiction from me! I'm really very sorry for those who liked my Card Captor Sakura / Naruto crossover fanfiction, Longing, because, well, it is currently on hiatus. I don't seem to be satisfied with how it was written. Ah, for those who are asking what to expect from this fanfiction, so far I have no idea how this will end or who will be paired with who. I did aim for this to be a Kakashi X Sakura fanfiction, but sometimes stories take a life of its own. In addition, this would be a rather dark fanfiction. Sakura will be... rather... sadistic/masochistic/dark in general in this fanfiction so please don't say I didn't warn you. In any case, I hope you readers would enjoy this anyway. Without further ado, here is the first chapter of Killing the Light.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters from the Naruto cast. I do own Midori though as well as the plot.

* * *

**Chapter One: Maybe It Was Her Way**

**By: Crescent Matrix  
**

Maybe it was the way the clouds covered the sun that morning, or the way the cold cuddled her back to her covers, or even the way her alarm clock was ringing so loudly with her ear nowhere near it. Well in any case, Haruno Sakura seriously did not feel like getting up that morning. A hand shot from out of the pristine white sheets towards the alarm clock, silencing it for the nth and final time during that morning successfully. Groggily, her head shot up and Sakura rubbed her eyes sleepily. She felt really tired and dragged herself out of the room and down the stairs to the warmth of the kotatsu.

"Well, good morning, honey. You woke up rather late in the morning today. You didn't get yourself sick now, did you, honey?" Haruno Midori asked her daughter. Sakura looked at her mother with half-closed eyes, and then continued on to eat.

"No mom, I'm not sick. It's just... really cold... the weather just feels too good for sleeping in." she said between sloppy bites. Her mom smiled at her and took a sip of her morning tea.

"As much as you love the morning air, honey, you are going to be late for your daily team training." Midori smiled at her daughter again, seeing Sakura with her eyes suddenly widening and her arms waving frantically. Sakura, hearing her mother's words, shoved her breakfast in her mouth and rushed up the stairs leading to her room. Fifteen minutes later, she went down clad in her usual short sleeveless red dress and green shorts. Fixing her blue ninja sandals, she gave her mom a quick kiss and goodbye, and then left rushing out of the house, her wet hair trailing behind her in the air.

* * *

Going past the bridge where Team 7 had met for the past three months ten minutes later, Sakura could already hear the clashing of kunai and shuriken from where she was. And then, out of nowhere, a kunai came towards her and she jumped back quickly to evade it.

"Wah! Sorry, Sakura-chan! Me and the teme didn't see you there!" The blonde boy jumped down from a tree to Sakura-chan. Sakura's other teammate, Sasuke, went towards her and picked up the stray kunai. Inside, her heart fluttered at Sasuke's approach.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun, Naruto! Eh? Is Kakashi-sensei not here yet?" Sakura looked behind Naruto and Sasuke and found no one. Sure, Team Seven decided to come two hours after their scheduled training time due to an always tardy Copy Nin, but the said Copy Nin manages to be a tad bit later than usual anyway.

"Well hello, Sakura-chan! It really hurts me to see that you haven't noticed me. That and you managed to break my record of being late! Now, what do you have to say for yourself, Sakura-chan?" a voice spoke behind her. Sakura turned around to see Kakashi dramatically clutching his vest where his heart was. She could tell he was smiling as if mocking her. The wind blew, and her only in her sleeveless dress, involuntarily shivered.

"Sorry, sensei. I woke up late." she muttered, her head bowed down. 'Don't embarrass me in front of Sasuke-kun, you mean teacher you.' With a sound that was a whisper, she mumbled to herself accompanied with the rolling of her eyes, "That and you suck in acting." Unfortunately for her, Kakashi was a skilled ninja, and was one who loved to see his students squirm. True as Sakura thought, Kakashi was one 'mean' ninja to boot with his lazy, perverted, and just outright weird mannerisms.

"What was that, Sakura-chan? That wasn't very nice. And now, you must face the consequences! Doesn't that sound like fun, Sakura-chan? We'll be sparring together! Sasuke, Naruto, get back to your sparring session. Remember, taijutsu training for today. Come on, Sakura-chan!" Walking with his sloppy gait, Sakura followed him with a sigh. Naruto and Sasuke stared at the two walk away to another bare space.

"Well, teme, sensei's acting weird again."

"Hn." Naruto translated this to an 'Isn't he always?' as he had spent a lot of time with the other boy. Naruto looked off to the trees where Sakura and Kakashi walked to.

"Ne, think it's gonna rain today?" Naruto asked as he took his stance.

"Hn?" Sasuke raised a brow. "Making it your excuse when you lose to me, dobe?" The Uchiha smirked. At Sasuke's insult, Naruto flustered and threw a kunai straight at Sasuke.

"Shut up, teme!" And with that, the two became blurs, the dust leaving a trail behind them joining the clash of metal against metal.

Sakura looked up at her sensei with a random curiosity. Well, it's not like he revealed too much about himself other than being lazy, late, and perverted. But then again, Kakashi showed a different part of him during that mission in Wave. Sakura knew he was strong, and she couldn't help but compare their strengths. Sure he was a jounin and all, but Sasuke and Naruto had done a whole lot better than her. They were beaten up after the battle while she stood uninjured. What had she done in Wave? She stood, she cried, she stayed back, and she hated it. She looked down to the ground, mesmerized by her animosity towards her weaknesses and what-ifs, and bumped the slightly cushiony feel of his vest.

"Sakura?" Her name. She looked up to Kakashi, pulled from her thoughts, and blinked at him in confusion.

"A-ah! Sorry, sensei! Are we starting now?" His lone eye pierces through her. Maybe it was because he was fourteen years older than her, or the way he changes his mood easily, or maybe even the way he holds himself, hiding his most of his face in a mask. Well in any case, Sakura couldn't help but feel, well, helpless, intimidated, looked down at, and whatnot. 'Maybe sensei finally realized that... I'm useless... I don't want to be... God knows I don't want to be...' A slight flush of fear and embarrassment colored her pale cheeks and a faint wind gave her goose bumps at the back of her neck. She stared at her silent teacher. "S-sensei? Taijutsu only, right?" Seeing her sensei nod once, she eyed her sensei warily and took her stance.

In a split second, Sakura found herself on the ground staring at the grey clouds forming, covering the light of sun. 'Woah!' Sakura closed and open her eyes slowly, feeling a bit dizzy. She heard her teacher sigh.

"Sakura, you're too tense. I know that it's cold and all, but it's not an excuse to be inattentive to your surroundings, most especially to your opponent." She knew he was serious in training her with the tone he used and the use of her name without the addition of a suffix. She couldn't blame him that he was disappointed even if it was his job to make her a better shinobi. She couldn't blame him that he couldn't teach her the way it was suited for her. She couldn't blame him that she was weak. Tears began to form in her eyes but she took a deep breath and the tears went away.

'What's wrong with me? I'm not usually this melancholic...' Sighing, she wove a hand through her pastel-colored hair. "Sorry, sensei..." she muttered yet again.

Kakashi didn't know what was wrong with the girl. She was rather lethargic today. 'The incoming rain does this to people, I suppose.' he thought. The masked jounin held out a hand to his only female student. Sakura looked up at him and reluctantly took his hand. As soon as she stood up next to Kakashi, a roar of thunder was heard and lightning struck a tree down a few meters away from the two. Sakura froze as she was blinded by the light.

"_Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura could only watch her teacher being ripped into shreds_

"_Naruto!" She could only watch as a sword dragged itself down on his flesh, effectively cutting him in half._

"_Sasuke-kun!" She could only watch as a mass of kunai and shuriken pierced his skin._

_She could only watch. That was the only thing she could do. She couldn't help, couldn't reach out to them, she couldn't save them._

_Useless. She was useless._

"_Sakura-chan, I can't protect you always, you know? It's hard on me, too..."_

'_Naruto...'_

_Good for nothing._

"_You're being incompetent. How do you expect to be a good ninja when you're too busy watching Sasuke's back? You have other teammates, Sakura."_

'_Kakashi-sensei...'_

_Waste of time._

"_You're weak. You're only going to drag me down."_

'_Sasuke...'_

_Why am I even here? What use am I if I'm just in everyone's way?_

_The veracity of her life, her purpose, herself, hit her hard. Who was she to complain and make demands when she had given nothing, sacrificed nothing, and yet only gained pain with her want? _

_I... don't want to be... me..._

"Sakura-chan! Kakashi-sensei! Are you alright?! The lightning struck around your area!" Looking frantic, Naruto jumped down from a nearby tree, Sasuke following his lead. Kakashi, who was unable to cover his eyes when the lightning struck, could see some black spots in his lone vision. Rain was still pouring from the heavens. Another strong wind blew over the threesome when they realized that Sakura was no longer there. "O-oi! Don't tell me Sakura-chan was vaporized by the lightning!" Naruto's eyes scanned the area with worried eyes and his sight settled on a mound of black ash. "Noooooo! Sakura-chan!!!" He rushed off to it and went down on his knees. "Oh, Sakura-chan! Oh, she was so young!" He hovered over the mound, some of the black ash staining his orange attire as well as his face. Suddenly, he was off of it, shouting. "Ouch! Ouch! Ow! So hot! Damn it!"

"Dobe." Sasuke approached Naruto and hit him on the head.

"What the hell?! What was that for?!" he demanded, nursing the large bump on his head.

"That's not Sakura." It wasn't Sasuke who answered him.

* * *

She ran. She wanted to get away so badly, away from everything. Regret flowed into her thoughts. If only she trained harder. If only she was better. If only. If only. 'Nothing can change that I'm useless now...' She bit her lip at the thought and continued to run with tears streaming from her eyes, but it wasn't that obvious as the chilly rain fell on her skin. She stopped in front of the gates of her home, her eyes weary and conscious of her state of mood. But something was wrong. The gate was wide open, muddy footprints passed on the yard leading to the house steps, and the door to the house was open. Sakura rushed inside in alarm, warily scanning the living room.

Blood coated the walls crimson still making its trail down the white-carpeted floor. Sakura saw the flesh of her mother's soul strewn across the floor, a large hole in her torso. Sakura looked at her mother's face, tears coming to rush down yet again. On her knees, she hovered over her mother's sad, teary face.

"Mom..." Sakura gently shook her mother's arm. "Wake up... I'm home, mom... Mom... I need you... don't leave me... don't leave me please... mom...? Mom? MOTHER!!" she cried out in desolation at the solitude that had hit her reality. 'Mother was the only one who listened... the only one who understood... the only one who was by my side... how can I be so... Mother, you were the only one...' She fell on her mother in tears, anguish and pain loomed over her like a shadow. Her vision blurred into nothingness.

"_You came too late, Sakura honey..." A warm hand cupped her wet cheek. Sakura knew whose hand, whose warmth it belongs to._

'_Mother...'_

"_I'm sorry, honey, you couldn't save me..."_

_Too late. _

'_I was too late... maybe if I had come sooner...'_

_No._

'_No... even if I got here on time... I can't do anything...'_

_Weak._

'_I'm weak...'_

_Useless._

'_I'm no good. No good at all...'_

"_It's not your fault, my daughter."_

'_But it is...' Her eyes widened as her lips trembled. Her head started to hurt._

_Could've been better._

_Could've been stronger._

_Could've helped you._

_Could've saved you._

'_But I couldn't...'_

"_No, honey, it's not your fault. You didn't know. You couldn't have known."_

_She didn't. That small whisper in the back of her mind was ignored._

"_Don't follow me... please don't... please tell me you won't, Sakura..." Her mother's ghostly emerald eyes looked into her deeply and worriedly as if trying to push her back into the world. Something, somewhere inside of her, just snapped._

_Yes, maybe that's what she would do._

_The only thing she could do._

_The only thing left for her to do._

_The only thing left._

_Her mother was still there, her mouth open, screaming, shouting, her eyes in tears. But her words were fading into silence. Sakura could hear nothing._

Sakura, with a shivering hand, slowly moved into her kunai pouch, taking a shiny short blade. She stared at it in awe. The grey kunai was glinting under the living room light. It was so beautiful, a beautiful escape. It just seemed so... exciting to stare at it. Both hands shaking, Sakura positioned the tip of the wonderful kunai where her heart was.

'Wait for me, mother...'

With her last sweet thought, she plunged.

Sweet pain erupted from her chest as she fell to the floor beside her beloved mother. She stared, entranced by something illusionary at the ceiling. It was calling out to her. Her hand reached out and she waited for it to take over her. She was smiling when she closed her eyes, and her hand grew limp.

Maybe it was the way her mother was the only one who managed to stay by her side, or the way death seemed like an escape from the enormity of the self-hatred she was feeling, or even the way misery loved her company to death. Well in any case, Haruno Sakura finally smiled for the last time.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The chapter finishes here. This is the longest chapter I managed to right so I feel fulfilled somehow. Feel free to give productive criticisms, cheers, or, well, just reviews. Er, and excuse me for my amateurity (amateurishness). I could never get used to writing no matter how many times I try. Suggestions are welcome as well, but please, let them remain as suggestions I could choose from instead of demands.


	2. When Darkness Is All You See

**Author's Note:** Thanks to TheRYU for my very first story review! Thank you for your compliments! This shall be a multi-chapter fanfiction. Well then, as promised, here is the second chapter of Killing the light.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters from Naruto. I do own this plot, Haruno Midori, and Haruka-sensei.

* * *

**Chapter Two: When Darkness Is All You See**

**By: Crescent Matrix**

Kakashi watched his only female student in slumber, her bandaged chest rise and falling. Beside him, Naruto fumbled with his fingers in worry, occasionally scratching his head in sudden frustration. In his other side was Sasuke, unmoving, arms crossed, and in his rigid contour, yet clenched eyebrows viewed upon his features. Kakashi raised a hand and ran it through his hair. It had already been two days since the rest of Team Seven found the corpses of the remaining Harunos, well, corpse, anyway.

* * *

"_**Oi, sensei! Where's Sakura-chan then if she wasn't this... this... burnt ash?" Even before Naruto's humorless charade, Kakashi had already known that Sakura ran away, and in his gut, he could feel that something was wrong, or at least, something wrong will happen.**_

'_**A bad omen, this rain brings.' he thought. Not answering his confused students, he started to sprint towards Sakura's path, his students, though puzzled, followed him anyway.**_

"_**Kakashi-sensei, where are we going?"**_

"_**To Sakura, dobe." Sasuke answered for him.**_

"_**Hey! Shut up, teme! I wasn't asking you!" Naruto flashed his eyes angrily at Sasuke, then back to Kakashi's backside. "Did something happen, sensei?" Sasuke, too, expected an answer from the ever so silent man. **_

"_**The thunder." was his only response. Suddenly everything clicked, to Sasuke anyway.**_

"_**The thunder? Kakashi-sensei, you're spouting nonsense again! I mean, what's the connection between thunder and Saku--- oh..."**_

"_**You only figured it out now, dobe?" Sasuke said mockingly to Naruto. Naruto glared at the boy beside him, almost losing his footing from the wet branch he leaped upon.**_

"_**Of course I remembered Sakura-chan's scared of thunder! And don't call me do---"**_

"_**We're here." Kakashi spoke up. The threesome looked at the white-painted house where the Harunos resided. The gate was swung open, tread marks on the muddy ground around stepping stones, and the white door was wide open, water and mud trailing its steps.**_

"_**Kakashi-sensei, I think I smell blood." So did he, he could very well smell the scent of crimson permeating in the air. With a realization reaching the borders of distress, the three rushed into the house where they, in very much shock and despair, found the bodies of the Haruno women lying in their own pools of blood. Hurriedly, they neared the masses of flesh, checking for a pulse. Kakashi gently took his female student's hand and placed two fingers on her wrist. The heavens must have answered his hopes because suddenly, he could feel the pulsations, although, only slight. **_

"_**S-She... sensei... Sakura-chan's mother... she's..." Naruto's words trailed into silence as Sasuke simply shook his head to Kakashi's direction. "H-How about S-Sakura-chan? Is she...?" Naruto's sapphire blue eyes were hopeful, though his face seemed strained by the cold soaking into his skin.**_

"_**She's still alive." Kakashi let out a breathe he didn't know he held, and Naruto, to his relief, reached out to Sakura's chest towards the kunai, but his hand was gently pushed away.**_

"_**Sensei...?" Naruto looked at him questioningly.**_

"_**It'll be worse if you took out the kunai without the help of medical chakra. We will leave her to the doctors. For now, Sasuke, find a blanket of some sort. We need to bring Sakura to the hospital. Naruto, find a large plastic bag to keep the rain away while we carry her. The rain will make her temperature drop more." With these things said, the two boys rushed around the house, looking for the necessary things. **_

_**A few minutes later, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto left the house carrying Sakura in a white blanket. Kakashi's clone was left inside the house tending to the corpse of his female student's mother. Four of Naruto's clones held long wooden sticks holding up the four sides of a stretched plastic bag over their heads. Soon enough, Sakura was safely in the hands of the hospital.**_

"_**Hatake-san." A female doctor came out of the Intensive Care Unit that contained Sakura.**_

"_**Haruka-sensei, how is she?" Kakashi asked the doctor named Haruka. He had already sent Naruto and Sasuke home, stubborn as Naruto was, when he got tired of watching them try not to shiver (of course, their attempts to look calm and collected failed miserably). He himself had already changed into drier clothes by his quick drop in his apartment. The dark orange-haired woman's face was molded in worry, as if hesitating what she was to say.**_

"_**Your student is fine, Hatake-san, though may I ask, do you know what happened?"**_

"_**No, ma'am, but the rest of my students and I thought they were being targeted. When we got to the Haruno residence, we found Haruno Midori, Sakura's mother, already... dead." The word seemed to leave a bitter taste in his mouth. "My student was found bleeding heavily with the kunai in her chest."**_

"_**I see." A pregnant pause in between words caused Kakashi to be nervous. Of course he cared for his students. They were, after all, his first students, the kids he was passing on what was taught to him by his own teacher, his own friends, by his own life. "Hatake-sensei, are you aware that Sakura's finger prints were on the kunai?" Kakashi's brow was raised. He could clearly recall that Sakura's hands were quite near her chest.**_

"_**She may have been in a genjutsu during the attack."**_

"_**Yes, perhaps that would explain it. Anyway, about her mother's case, that hole we found in her torso, it was made by a large burst of chakra. The thing is, the chakra blast, if it was a murder, would have originated from the outside, pushing the skin inwards. But in this case, it is not so. Studying her corpse, the skin on the front was torn outwards while the skin at her back was still intact. It was Midori's own chakra that killed her." Kakashi nodded his head to her as she explained this. He knew for a fact that while civilians couldn't use chakra doesn't mean they don't have any. It was simply dormant inside of them and grew more so when they grew up. He also knew that Haruno Midori was no ninja, reading from Sakura's files.**_

"_**An internal build-up of chakra? There would have been symptoms of that showing. That and a build-up of chakra of that size would have been immediately detected, especially with the annual check-up for the civilians." Symptoms of having a build-up of chakra would include a piercing pain where the build-up was, having a hard time breathing, as well as frequent vomiting, nausea, headaches, and such. Of course, it was common for chakra build-ups to occur in the stomach where chakra originates; if chakra build-ups do occur, that is, which is rarely since chakra build-ups can be immediately sensed, most especially in a village that trains ninjas, and remedied.**_

"_**Yes, that is correct. I shall ask Sakura about her mother once she awakens. As for this analysis, I will inform Hokage-sama of this."**_

"_**Haruka-sensei! We have an emergency!" A nurse in her snow-colored uniform came running towards the two.**_

"_**Of course, right away." Haruka said to the nurse, and then she turned to Kakashi. "She will be awake in around two days. You are allowed to see her as long as there is no noise. Well then, goodbye, Hatake-san." Kakashi then raised a hand at her retreating figure, then he went inside Sakura's room and simply just watched her sleep, waiting for her to wake up from her nightmares.**_

_**

* * *

**_

She opened her eyes, a bit blinded by the brightness of the light. She felt really tired, as though she hadn't slept at ll. Her vision, still hazy, faded back into the darkness. 'I'm still alive, huh?' was her only thought as she fell back to her slumber.

* * *

"_It's ironic, isn't it, Sakura?"_

"_...Inner...?"_

"_Who else would it be?"_

"_Ah... what's ironic?"_

"_You, wanting to die but didn't. Mother, I think she had no reason to want to die, but she did anyway."_

"_..." Memories flashed before her. Tears threatened to fall from her jade pools. And then, she laughed, and the tears fell._

'_I'm not supposed to be alive. Inner's saying the truth. I'm useless to the world... Mother... She's of more use to the world than I am. Truly how ironic... It wasn't supposed to be this way...' In her mind, she cried, she laughed, and then, she snapped._

"_IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! I'M THE USELESS ONE! IS THIS ENTERTAINING?! I'LL GIVE YOU ENTERTAINING, YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID FUCKING CREATOR!!" she pointed to the empty sky._

"_It's no use getting angry at Kami, Sakura-chan. He doesn't exist, or at least, we never believed in him anyway, did we?" Sakura could only look blankly at her Inner. Inner sighed and approached her spiritual sister. "It's gonna be okay, Sakura... we're gonna be okay..." Inner embraced her sweetly like a dear sister would. And somehow, deeper than the unfeeling look in Sakura's eyes, she hoped it would be, too._

_

* * *

_

"Kakashi-sensei! Look! She's waking up! Sakura-chan's waking up!" she heard Naruto's voice in the background. Groggily, she opened her eyes, blinking till her blurry vision became steady.

"N-Naruto...?" she asked out weakly. Her chest felt painful and more so when she tried to sit up.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! You okay?" His voice was loud, and it got louder as Naruto approached her. Sakura gave him a weak questioning smile and then looked around where she was.

'Ah... it looks like it's snowing in here...' Sakura had always liked the color white. It just looked so blindingly pure and innocent, like the snow. Her eyes turned to the other spectators in the room, her eyes passing through Kakashi, onto a woman wearing a lab coat, and her sight finally landed on Sasuke. 'He came to see me...' She smiled to herself. "Hello... everybody..." she managed to croak.

"Now, now, everyone, I will only leave you five minutes, alright? After five minutes, you must leave while I check on Sakura's vitals." Haruka said and she left the room, swishing her coat.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! What happened to you?" asked Naruto, his face full of concern. Sasuke merely leaned towards the two to show that he was also interested in what Sakura had to say.

'I can't just say that I tried to kill myself, can I? They might as well put me in a nut hospital if I do that...' Sakura bit her lip in frustration. Her head started to ache a bit and she fell back on her pillow. 'What am I supposed to say?'

"Naruto, Sasuke, I know you are both excited about Sakura-chan being awake and all, but don't stress her out, okay?" He got a grunt and a series of 'buts' as a response. Sakura was glad for her teacher's intervention. A sigh escaped her and went unnoticed as she continued to listen to Kakashi. "Now then, why don't you two go for a spar in the training grounds? It's still quite early." Sasuke 'hn'-ed at this as he went up to leave the room followed by a sulking Naruto.

'Why'd sensei have to make Sasuke-kun leave?! ...but then again... I'm kind of glad...' she smiled to the air. "Sensei, how many days have I been... asleep?"

"Around two days. How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine, though my head hurts a tiny bit. Nothing serious though!" she laughed softly. Silence. "Sorry, sensei..."

"For what?"

"I'm supposed to be a ninja, right? I'm supposed to be strong..." her voice trailed to a whisper. Tears started to form again in her eyes. 'Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.' she repeated it in her head like a mantra.

"Sakura... what happened?" Somehow, somewhere in her mind, Sakura knew that Kakashi had an idea of what was going on with her.

'I feel like an open book to him... I guess senseis are supposed to be like that... but... it's harder to pretend everything's normal... that everything's just fine...' her lip quivered, biting her tears back. "I-I... I felt something bad was going to happen... I-I went home and saw my mom... and... s-she h-had a big hole... there was so much b-blood... and then.... I-I can't r-remember anymore..." Big fat drops of liquid fell from her face, to her cheek, and then to the pillow. She closed her eyes, turning her face to her pillow. 'I... don't want to think about it...' She could hear Kakashi sigh and the door swinging open.

"Hatake-san, the five minutes are up." Haruka came back again, holding a clipboard of hospital data. Hearing this, Kakashi stood up to leave, but before he reached the door, he turned his head to Sakura.

"Take care, Sakura. Do get better soon. We miss you out there." Sakura buried her face further into her pillow.

* * *

"Sakura-chan, you okay? You lost against Kakashi-sensei again." Naruto asked her, hovering over her beat form. It had been a month since she was discharged from the hospital. Kakashi was nowhere to be seen as their daily meeting was over. Sasuke, however, was at a distance, nearing the two.

"Yeah, I'm fine Naruto." she said as she got up. 'Didn't have to humiliate me in front of Sasuke-kun, the evil sensei...'

"You always lose, Sakura." Sasuke's cool voice filled her ears. Ouch. That must have hurt.

"Well, duh, she's supposed to, teme. Kakashi-sensei's a jounin, after all." Her face paled. That didn't make her feel any better.

"She even loses to us during our sparring sessions, dobe. She's weak." She clenched her teeth.

"Hey! She beat me... er... a few times before! And she is not weak! We just happen to be a little bit strong! I mean, we're boys, she's a girl---" Naruto continued to rant, counting in his pause as he searched in his memory, to no avail. But Sakura can account for the many times she's beaten Naruto: thrice. And those could only be counted as a lucky shot, using his stupidity as one's advantage, and using her sexuality over him. Sakura even ignored Naruto's sexist comment. It was true, not wholly true, but usually true nevertheless.

"I­­­­---" she started to interrupt. In her outburst, the two arguing boys looked at her. "I am going home." Ever so swift, she ran towards home, tears running down her face and blood dripping from her bitten lip.

It started to rain. Fat drops of water hit her skin. She had stopped running and started walking aimlessly around Konoha's streets. Her head bowed low, she looked at the kitten beneath her feet. "You're all alone, too, aren't you?" Sakura scooped up the orange-furred kitten with her hands and looked into its eyes. It seemed to lean nearer to her because of her warm body. "I can't bring you home... Mom is allergic to cats." Her mind turned blank at the thought of her mother.

_Mom. Mother. _

_The life pouring out of her, surrounding her, leaving her. _

_She can see it over and over again, the scenes replaying in her mind. _

_Weak she was called. _

_Lost she was. _

_Self-hatred burned in her._

_She could no longer hear or see anything other than the screams, the cries, the disappointment on their face, the sadness, the despair, the hatred... her hatred..._

_She hated herself... her weakness... her fear... her hands shaking... her eyes crying... _

_And then everything just stopped... she looked into her hands... her hands full of blood..._

_Blood._

Her hands were full of blood. Blood was dripping from her hands to her arms, to her clothes, to the ground, soaking everything. The smell was nauseating. It was getting hard to breathe by every passing moment. She felt like throwing up. Feeling the squelching flesh in her hands, she looked at her hands, both horrified and terrorized. In her hands was the limply body of the orange kitten she had just found, held, and in her moment's despair, killed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, how did you like it? Feel free to give constructive criticisms, and please do review. I know you are reading this. Well then, the latest I would update would be next week Friday. I do so hope to have good outlooks on this. It may be a bit slow, but I hope you would enjoy it anyway. Ciao then, everyone.


	3. Towards Insanity

**Author's Note:** I really do apologize for the lateness of this chapter! There were external situations that I had been subjected to entertain and had no option of ignoring (college-related, parent-related). This chapter may not be at the best, but I hope you'd still like it.

**TheRYU: **I have nothing against kittens. I actually like animals in general when they're cute! And kittens are under cute! Well, here's the next chapter you've been waiting for! (Or so I hope. XD)

**MadamObscurum: **Thank you for the compliment! I'll try my best to keep my grammar in check. Actually, I don't think I'll have to try. (It's the obsessive compulsive-ness in me that kicks in sometimes. XD) As for the plot, truth be told, the plot of this fanfiction is still a bit blurry in my head. I suppose it is due to not writing stories for quite a long time. I do so hope you continue to enjoy the story!

So, people reading this out there, please review! Now, without any more delay, the third chapter of Killing the Light!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters from Naruto. I do own this plot and some random characters.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Towards Insanity**

**By: Crescent Matrix**

She could feel the terror flowing with her blood. Her face contorted in sheer dread. The rain continued to cry on her pale form. Her hands went limp and the former living flesh she held on her hand dropped to the stony ground.

'What have I done?' She looked up the sky and her blank eyes turned to frightened ones. Looking back on the ground on the small parts of orange fur peeking out from all the crimson, she could feel the bile rising up her throat and she lurched forward, vomiting the contents of her stomach. 'How could I do such a thing?' The self-hatred turned back into fear as quick as that self-hatred came, and then she ran. She kept running even if her body was already aching tired, tears still flowing from her eyes. "Haruka-sensei!!"

Bursting through the doctor's clinic door, she found herself staring at a startled Haruka who was just about to reach for her half-filled coffee cup. For the past few weeks, Sakura had been in the care of Kuromaki Haruka. The orange-haired woman contemplated on Sakura's state of arrival. Of course, it was not everyday that she received a soaking, bloody, distressed-looking patient.

"Sakura?"

* * *

"**Sakura?" It had been a few days after she had awakened back into her consciousness. Sakura sat up and looked at her doctor.**

"**Good morning, Haruka-sensei!" Sakura smiled up at her. She really liked the woman who was so much like her mother in her kindness and gentleness.**

"**How are you, Sakura?"**

"**I feel a whole lot better with all the sleeping I've been doing here. That's the only thing I get to do here." The two laughed and Haruka smiled at the petal-haired youth.**

"**That's good! I'm happy to tell you that you will be discharged tomorrow!" she told the girl with a pleasant expression. Sakura's smile, however, faltered. She didn't feel like going back to that house. Haruka noticed her sudden grimness. "Are you alright, Sakura?" No reply. The doctor smiled at her patient and patted Sakura on the head. "Don't worry, Sakura dear. You don't have to be alone. You can stay with me if you like. Well actually, you have to stay with me. I spoke to Hokage-sama about it. So you see, you have nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to leave you alone. You can talk to me whenever you need me, Sakura dear." She could see Sakura's jade orbs sparkle in delight.**

"**Really, Haruka-sensei?"**

"**Really." And she could feel the child's arms embrace her neck in pure joy.**

**

* * *

**

"Is something the matter, Sakura dear?" Haruka felt Sakura hug her tightly, the child's tears dampening her blouse.

"I didn't mean to... I really didn't mean to..." Haruka could hear her mumbling.

"Sakura...?" she called her name, unsure of what to do. The sobs only got louder and her embrace, tighter. The doctor smoothed her pink tresses and waited for her to calm down. A while later, the sunset-haired woman held the silent yet still trembling girl in her arms. "Sakura, can you tell me what happened?" Sakura looked at her, both eyes and lips trembling.

"I-I... I killed a kitten..." Sakura clenched her head with her hands. "I didn't know what I was doing, Haruka-sensei! It was... I was just thinking and holding the kitten and then... and then... blood... e-everywhere..." Sakura let out another sob. "I didn't mean to..."

"There, there, Sakura dear. Everything's going to be okay." Haruka held Sakura's hands in hers. To say that she was surprised would be an understatement, but she couldn't blame the girl. 'She just lost her mother, for god's sake!' she thought as she inspected the claw marks on Sakura's pale white hands. "Let's treat this, okay? It might get infected." She rolled her chair to the cabinet to get the disinfectant and some cotton, and then she rolled her chair back to Sakura and started treating her. "Sakura, you've had a long day. Drink some water after this. It will help you calm down. Take a long hot bath, and then go to sleep, okay Sakura?" Sakura, who was still having sudden breath-ins, silently nodded to the doctor and went up the stairs. Soon enough, she was inside the comfortable warmth of her sheets. She stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep even though she felt tired. Sakura grimaced as her thoughts went back to what happened in the day.

"_Don't you think you should have at least buried that poor kitty?"_

"_Inner, didn't you see what I did? I killed it!"_

"_That's why you should've buried it. I don't think anyone saw you anyway so... I guess it's okay to leave that poor kitty there..."_

"_Inner... I'm going insane aren't I...?" Sakura could see Inner Sakura shrug. "I'm scared..."_

"_...I am too..."_

"_But you'll be with me, right...?"_

"_Even if I don't want to be, I'm with you till the day we die."_

"_...till the day we die, huh..."_

"_Now stop being so depressing. We won't be able to sleep with that."_

Sakura sighed into the evening. She really wasn't able to sleep. 'Maybe a glass of milk would help...' With that in mind, she stood from her bed and silently crept across the stairs.

"She is still very unstable, and more so now. Today, she told me herself that she had killed a kitten." Sakura could hear from downstairs. She crouched down and looked through the gaps of the staircase.

'Haruka-sensei?' Sakura could see her talking to someone in the living room. Squinting, Sakura tried to make out the second figure. She crouched lower to the ground. The two adults seemed to be in a deep conversation. The first being the female orange-haired doctor and the other who had graying hairs well as deep lines on his face due to aging. 'Isn't that man...?' Indeed, that man was Tanaka Junichi, the director and also one of the best doctors in hospital of Konohagakure.

"If this continues to go downhill, her insanity would be inevitable. She is a danger to herself as to those around her. What shall we do with Sakura, Junichi-sensei?" The man's look was grim and Sakura could decipher the worry in Haruka's voice.

'_What? This is about me?' Her eyes widened. 'Me? Insane? Haruka-sensei... what are you talking about...? I'm... I'm perfectly fine...'_

'_You aren't and you said it yourself. You think you're becoming a crazy whacko.'_

'_...'_

'_I know you're afraid. I'm afraid, too. But I already told you, you're not alone...'_

"Then we have no choice but to place her in the mental institution. Well, Haruka-sensei, you are her legal guardian. I will arrange the papers if you are willing to sign them. If possible, I need your decision by tomorrow." The man spoke up and Sakura suppressed a surprised gasp.

"Please say no... please, Haruka-sensei... I don't want to go there... I'm no nutcase... please... please don't say yes..." she whispered, tears obscuring her vision. She wiped them away, sniffling quietly, her actions unheard by the two downstairs.

"I have no need for a day, Junichi-sensei. Unstable as she is now, it is best for her if she would be received by that section of our medical facility. If you arrange the papers by tomorrow, then I would be signing it before I am on duty." Ever so quietly, she walked back to her room, closing her door without a sound. The glass of milk forgotten, she stared at the ceiling, tears flowing down again.

'_You lied, Haruka-sensei. She made us sound so disgusting...'_

'_She lied. She said she won't leave us alone, but she's gonna put us in some psycho ward, that hateful, lying bitch!'_

'_...I hate it here, Inner...'_

'_...I know. I do, too. You wanna go?'_

'_Huh? Go where?'_

'_Far away from here, of course! We can't trust anybody here.'_

'_But... I---'_

'_We don't need anyone! We can stand up on our own! And we can beat up those who hurt us! They deserve it, Sakura. Not only us. They deserve to be hurt, too.'_

'_I... You're right, Inner, you're right...' Sakura slept that night with a smile on her face, a twisted smile. This was the night she last slept sane._

_

* * *

_

The next morning was still as cloudy as the past few days. Sakura was wakened by the pitter-patter of the rain on her window. She sat up, suddenly feeling wide awake, and she rose from her bed to the mirror hanging by her bedroom door.

"It's time to go, Sakura." The menacing tone in her voice was unmistakable. There was still the same cheery happiness present in her voice, albeit warped.

"Yes, indeed it is." Her usual merry mellow tone came out as piercing ice. Jade eyes stared back at her with a creepy smile, something sinister flashing in those pools of green as she spoke to herself. A quarter of an hour later, her huge backpack was sitting on the floral sheets of her bed. It was still early, being a bit later than six in the morning. Sakura knew that her companion at home wakes up at seven in the morning.

"First things first, 'kura. We have thirty minutes.""

"Of course." Sakura's feet brought her just outside of Haruka's door. A cold hand grasped the doorknob and she turned it, slowly opening the door. Quietly walking, she was beside the sleeping woman. Sakura flicked her hand and a kunai appeared in her hand.

"S-Sakura dear?" The half-asleep woman, who was still quite unaware of what was happening, mumbled her name. Sakura's eyes narrowed warily.

"You have absolutely no right to call me that. This is your retribution, woman." The sunset-haired woman jostled in her wake, her eyes widening as she caught the glinting kunai falling upon her.

"Saku---" Her words would no longer be finished as the sharp blade pierced her throat. Blood spattered everywhere: on the white covers of the bed, the white of the wall, the yellow lampshade, on Sakura's twisted smiling face. The petal-haired girl licked the side of her mouth where the blood threatened to drip. Smiling jade stared into terrorized purple ones, and as soon as the convulsing body turned limp, Sakura walked away from the room, the malevolent smile still gracing her face.

Walking into the pitter-patter of the rain, she moved smoothly with her head up high. The chilly drops of rain falling on her skin, cleaning her of the blood that stained her, were unable to erase the blemishes of her soul. She walked up and over the wall that edged the village, clutching a silver key of an intricate design that was her mother's dangling from the chain around her neck.

* * *

"_**We have analyzed the items that Haruno Midori had on her on the time of her passing. Please give this to her daughter. I doubt she would be visiting here anytime soon." Haruka was handed a zip-lock plastic containing some rather bumpy objects. She was in the office of the cemetery where Haruno Midori's cadaver was buried.**_

'_**Well, Rika thought right.' she thought as she stared into the plastic: a large ring holding the household keys, quite a number of thin silver bangles, a golden wedding ring, and a complicated-looking silver key. "Thanks, Rika."**_

_**

* * *

**_

"We have to find that Orochimaru guy, right?"

* * *

"_**Sakura dear, this contains the things you wanted from your mother's belongings." Haruka said as she brought in a large cardboard box into Sakura's new floral-themed room. Sakura sat silently on her new bed. It only had been a few days after she was discharged from the hospital, and like any other who suffered a loss, she was still feeling blue. "I'll leave it here, okay? I'll make us some great dinner tonight! I'll call you when it's ready." With that said, Haruka left the room. Outside Sakura's room, Haruka smiled at Sakura's as well as her own efforts. 'A family, huh? That's a nice thought...' She smiled to herself as she went down the stairs.**_

'_**These are mom's stuff.' After hearing the soft click of the closing door, Sakura immediately opened the box that held Haruno Midori's belongings. The first thing that caught her eye, however, was a wooden box with an intricately designed lock on it. 'This lock...' Her eyes suddenly widened at an idea. She took off the key she received from Haruka earlier on from the chain around her neck and excitedly opened the lock of the box. 'These are... letters?' She read the last of the letters, the first letter, the olden paper designed with a stranger's calligraphy.**_

_To my love,_

_How are you, my dear Midori? I remember our sad parting. It had been five years since we had been a family with little Kabuto. Oh yes, little Kabuto says hello as well. You have always been my warmth in the cold night and my light in the darkness. I miss you so, my love. Oh, there are so many things I want to tell you. My adventures now are far more exhilarating then we have last parted. _

_Alas, time is of the essence as little Kabuto and I escape from the clutches of pitiful mortal men. _

_I promise to see you soon, my wonderful Midori; soon I will be with you again._

_With love,_

_Orochimaru_

'_**Orochimaru? I've heard of him somewhere...' Sakura racked her brains of the familiar name, but the brain-racking was stopped by the dinner call of Haruka downstairs.**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Yes. We'll ask help from him."

"Think we can trust him?"

"...we're not sure."

"After all, he loved her, didn't he?"

"...we suppose he did."


End file.
